I posted, edited and deleted this post so many times! More than 10! What should I say...? Umm... Most of the posts were long so I deleted them again and again and I'll just get to the point... You don't have to come online and you don't have to try so hard to love me... It's okay.... Woah... Short post.... This was so long at first... Okay don't wanna take up your time! Bye! Hope you'll feel better soon ^_^

merged: 04-23-2008 ~ 06:23pm

Quote by vatican92
Elizabeth sorry
I cannot stay long once again
Im trying to drop by at least for a short while though
Umm it's okay even if it's long Elizabeth
Although I may not reply to everything, I'll read it
I'm not trying that hard Elizabeth
Because you just make me love you even when I'm feeling down
I havent changed a lot but I suppose I am changing little by little
I am scared that this will last long.....
It's really.... scary and painful not being able to really stir up any emotion
I feel like I am somebody else... or I feel that I am not alive from time to time.....
Anyway.... I hope you are safe.... and feeling well
See you soon Elizabeth

.... I'm sure not feeling yourself is a normal thing... I never feel myself.... But the reason I don't feel myself is probably different from yours but I don't feel myself cause I lie a lot... And you can lie to yourself... Sometimes you lie so much you think it's real... I guess I tell myself after that, that it was all a lie but lies become real when you lie for a long time... God gives... And he takes ^_^ God can't be perfect... God won't be perfect... God isn't perfect... If you asked him if you should die for someone... If god said yes, it would be foolish won't it? Because if you die for someone... That person you died for is going to live in misery for the rest of his/her life... And the people who love you would be miserable, pitiful and sad... But if god said no that would be foolish too because you're being selfish to let that person die and only care about yourself... But you can't say that either... Nothing is right or wrong.. The devil isn't bad... God isn't good... I don't believe in such things... Humans were the ones who make right and wrong... Humans made time.... What's 1am and what's 3pm is made by humans... And the definition of right and wrong were made by humans too... I don't know if I'm right or wrong, we make our own right and wrong... Everyone thinks differently... There's a thing as alike but there isn't the same... I'm making no sense! Eeek!
Isn't scary and painful an emotion? haha! You're really cute you know that? I just feel like pinching your cheeks!

merged: 04-29-2008 ~ 08:03pm
Like my teacher says! "There isn't right or wrong, only differences" ^_^ So... You believe in god! And I don't Anyway! The can opener agrees with me! It's a girls thing, you know the thing that you use to open soda that metal small piece thing... That can opener thingymebob...
I can't tell happy from sad sometimes... In fact I seriously cannot tell the truth from a lie It's just the same... Trusting... Is a stupid thing to do... I don't remember the last time I kept my guard down... Even when I'm asleep, one little sound and I'll wake up.... Keeping your guard down is foolish... You can't trust anyone... because everyone is lying...
yeah I guess that type of feeling of not feeling yourself and all the stuff is new to you but you'll get used to it... We're born on... Something like ice.... If you don't want the ice beneath your feet to break... Then don't put your guard down.... Never... Do something as foolish at that... Like what I love to say! "At first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence of trying and don't let them know you care" I would rather die a thousand times.... Then let the ice beneath my feet, be stained in a drop of shame... In life, everyone is your enemy...
Oh you missed me? Yeah sure! That lie is so old! I won't ever, think that you actually love me ever again... Emotions.... Are one of the heavy objects you're carrying... I've learnt to throw away my emotions one by one... Hopes.... Happiness.... Trust... Love.... They are all heavy objects that break the ice.... I will never... Ever let the ice under my feet break.... So... I don't see what's so bad about losing the ability to feel.... Weird humans...

Hnn... I knew I shouldn't have sent you a PM on my phone.... I forgot to check the spelling... Ugh... Well at least it was a PM then no one would think I have bad spelling! Because I do not! It's like when you type me it become of and of is me and uuaahhh!

Good evening.
Thank you for fav in the favorite it.

It might be good today.
Long-awaited Code Geass R2 was broadcast in Japan.
I also saw R2.
To tell the truth, it is shock.

Spoiler:

The development in the future is the enjoyment.

I'm still here,just that after my exams i stopped coming
when i decided to come back,finals were coming.................
well,i am here now!
won't be regular,though
now i am in 7 grade and we have the biggest class in the school
after my exams i went for a holiday with my mother to our hometown......
well,thats all
take care!
bye!

A question.... A slightly serious one.... If the devil could kill god.... He asked you wether he should kill god or me.... And he said he would let you pick who you want to live but you have to pick either god or me to get killed.... Who would you pick to die? Act like the devil can destroy god okay? :P And you can't say none or yourself or both or whatever! Have to say either go or Elizabeth..... Answer me truthfully.... I don't care if the truth hurts.... Just no more lies....
Oooo! AND! ^_^ I finished recording Aozora! I'm starting to make the video for your birthday now! ^_^ Though.... I have to say... Although I'm not much of a love romance story type.... I'm actually better with drawing, writing love stories, singing love songs, making videos about romance(I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT! Stupid god...) I tend to like love songs because almost all songs are love songs I guess.... NYA! I suck at making videos that aren't supposed to be depressing! I BLAME YOU! A-A.... Again...? Yeah! AGAIN! Why can't you be my husband! Hmpf! It'll be easier to make a video about you then stupid! Baka! Idiot! Sha gua! Babo? o_O Umm... Umm.... HOW DO YOU SAY IDIOT IN SWEDISH!?!?! I knew I should have asked for that swedish classmate of mine's phone number! AHHH! I BLAME YOU!
Oh! Yes ^_^ By the way... could you listen to this song that I like? ^_^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDQVf1OpFL4
Okay fine! Maybe I kinda just like the video then I liked the song! But hey! Can't blame me for liking love stories! Nya! I'm a GIRL aren't I? XP That's what girls do! Hehe! I started dating when I was 7! Hehe! What do you expect! Nya! But all the ex boyfriends are boring! KYAA! I FELL ON MY HEAD TODAY! I BLAME YOU! Hmpf! I don't love you anymore!(That's what I always say when I don't get it my way! Nya! I'm 11!) Juchanjuchan! YOU KNOW! I have to sing in this stupid church choir for the school! Nya! But since I get to have solo parts! SURE! I have to sing some song called "I vow to thee my country" or something for praying at the church for the people who died at war or some stupid god stuff.... Then I have to sing solo parts for some weird old song called "Where have all the flowers god" yep! I think that's it! Got a concert at the end of the year! ^_^ I'm going to do dancing and singing.... What should I dance to? And don't give me something like a stupid song called "All hale god" or whatever cause like I'm dancing hip hop or whatever you call it! It's all the SAME! You know... I looked at the mirror today and..... I so... so... so do not look 11..... I have 4 piercing in each year! I have purple highlights in my hair! I dress like... Like.... Well.... To put it in a good way.... I guess I kinda dress like some punk kid.... Hnn.... Whatever.... You know.... Everyone said that my school uniform looks like a nurse, a maid... Or a prostitute... Pretty insulted to be called a nurse.... Feel low to be called a maid.... And a prostitute is just... Woah.... Ummm..... Right... We have another girl's school uniform but it's below my knee and it makes me look like a goody two shoes! I'm already called a nerd because of my overly intelligent brain! That's why I never study cause the dumber I get the better XP But yet again.... The dress that makes me look like a nurse/maid/prostitute is bad too.... And..... A MAID?!?! I LOST MY DIGNITY! And... And... A NURSE?!?! I FEEL ASHAMED! And... Most of all.... A... A PROSTITUTE!?!?! AHHH! I think being called perverted would be better.... Ugh.... My dignity just went down the drain.... So.... Ju-chan... Should I wear the dress that makes me look like a maid/nurse/prostitue(Hah! This reminds me of the perverted anime shows where the maid and nurses always attract perverted guys like you idiot) or should I wear the blouse and skirt that makes me look like a goody two shoes?

Quote by vatican92With the sparklies it would have been lovely

True ^^ But every time I tried it sucked :P

Quote by vatican92

I live in an area called Cainta, Rizal
Subic? I didnt know people lived there
I thought Subic was a tourist spot
I've already been there and was fantastic...... although I am terribly afraid of insects and sea creatures there
And there were lots of monkeys on the beach..... so that was scary

Well yeah..... But if I dont copy, I cant draw anything at all.....
and I'm not joking
Well I guess we all have to try harder to improve

ooh... cainta. tch, so far, i can't go there...

i thought you live in there because most of the korean tourists who decided to stay here stays there
i haven't been there, i'm envious, joke!

it's really okay to copy, we're just beginners ^_^
it doesn't matter if it's your original or not. what matters most for me is you did your best to do it ^_^

Quote by vatican92Eli-chan......
I cant stay for long so I'll reply ASAP
School started today and we already have projects and exams tomorrow........
Aaahhhh! Cant wait for summer break......
Please stay safe Elizabeth......
And always remember that I love you

Oh... You love me now is it...? Why don't you run to god and be friends with him then...? I don't know... Marry god's daughter..... Pity.... I nearly could have died today.... Climbed onto the school roof and I was going to slide down and fall but a teacher saw me before I did it and I got a stupid lecture about bla bla bla and he asked me a bunch of stupid questions that make me want to get out of this stupid human world even earlier.... If I could say two words to god I would say "You've won" Because he really did..... He won.... He managed to make my life a living hell.... I hope he's happy... And.... If you go on god's side and not mine.... I promise from the bottom of my heart... I swear... I'll definitely... Absolutely.... Kill myself in two seconds flat.... Or if I'm lucky I could just cut my throat and die in about... A second or so? I hate myself for liking you so much.... Ironic.... You were supposed to make me happier.... But hey.... I'd say the same words to you too.. "You've won" Now I know.... That I will never be number one to anyone.... Never was.... You might say that no one can be perfect.... God is much more kinder then me I know..... he so called sacrificed his so called child for humans and I'm so selfish that I don't die for my people.... But if you think about it.... I am dying to make this world a better place.... To make this cell I'm locked up in go away so that everyone can rejoice because the god hater is gone..... God may have felt a lot of pain... He may have done this and that.... But look at him now... He's so great..... He's so great that my mother can call me hell's child for saying god wasn't real.... He's won by a long shot.... No matter how hard I try.... I will never be first to you right...? Even if I died a hundred times.... Even if I lived my hellish life over and over again.... I can never ever come first to you right...? I can never be even close to how much you love god.... But I thank you.... Because I've won this cell.... I broke through her stupid smile and this cell and breaking apart bit.... by bit... Don't say "I can never make you happy" or "No mortal can ever surpass god" "God has always been there for you you've just not noticed" But.... Ju-chan... You know when you get cut? The first cut hurts... The second hurts more.... The third one becomes numb... The fourth cut starts to feel like just an ant bite.... The fifth one starts to feel like nothing... And the sixth one and more just feels so normal.... Like an everyday thing....Lilwolfmaiden and I.... I'm sure... That if you took our place in life.... Even if I'm just a small girl and you claim that teenage life is cruel.... I promise you... That if you took our place..... You'd hate god in 1 minute.... "I hate you" "You're a mistake" "Don't you dare tell them the truth" "Why am I your mother?! If only! If only you weren't here!" "I hate you!" "Go to hell!" "Please just leave me alone" "You disgust me" "Your sister could have done way more better "It's all your fault" We've heard those words... So many times that it doesn't hurt so much anymore..... Ju-chan..... For me to even.... Not hate god.... is...... Like you asking me to go back in time..... I'm sorry but.... I think.... I ran out of masks..... If I smiled one more time..... I'm going to crack.... I'm just taking my sadness out on you.... Sorry.... It's not your fault really.... It's not god's fault either.... Everyone takes me as the happy girl that never cries..... But.... I can't take it anymore... Sorry... Gotta stop here! ^_^ Talk to you anymore and I think I'm gonna flood the house! I've almost covered the whole keyboard with my tears so not surprised if I cause a flood!

Quote by vatican92

Quote by TreeFarieAaliyah

Hmm...I actually don't think the job of students is to be academically recognized...but I guess a lot of students do push for that...

Lol. Yeah. My school does too...(in my opinion) And I actually think they do a pretty good job of organizing all the midterms and finals...however, it's still stressful. -.-'

Ja ne!

~Nissa~

Well no you are not obliged to get recognized but it's your aim
Or at least learn something useful that they might use in the future

My school isnt organized at all for the finals
You have to work out the schedule if there's an overlap in the exam and there's so much spare time between exams and sometimes they just cram all the hard exams in one day and put all the easy ones in another

Well c ya

Yes, true.

Oh that sucks... My school's really organized then...on final's week, there's no classes and there's two tests per day (Mon through Fri). It's organized by subject and they assign which classes take it where (in the dining hall or the indoor tennis courts--losts of space).

I'm so tired right now. -.-' *yawns* It's not even late...-.-'

Quote by vatican92

Why thank you
But maybe it's a coincidence but I live in the Philippines
It's been a year since I've last been to Korea
I left Korea when I was........ 5 or 6..... I dont even remember....

Thank you but I find my works very..... simple
All I do is copy and that's not my own work
I want to draw something of my own one day.......

WHAT?!?!? you live here? you ARE here? where? manila? subic?

hm.. about your works, it's okay if you copy it, i mean, everyone who wants to draw starts from copying *including tracing*. i too started from that, unfortunately, until now i'm still copying and my works did not improve a bitT_T. sigh... will i ever learn? LOL

just do it and have fun

Hi Vatican! Just spamming your guestbook to wish you happy holidays ^^ I hope you'll have a good time.
Don't eat too many chocolate, okay?
Well, see ya around~